WARNING: Do not, under any circumstances, order an “Irish Car Bomb” anywhere in the country of Ireland—this includes our wedding. You will be promptly stuffed into a medieval cannon and blasted back to the soulless land of insensitivity from whence you came. Thank you.
- “Stocious” = drunk
- “Buckled” = drunk
- “Ossified” = drunk
- “Jarred” = drunk
- “Trousered” = drunk
- “Polluted” = drunk
- “Legless” = drunk
- “Locked” = drunk
- “Scuttered” = drunk
- “Jacks” = toilet
- “Booking” = puking (“Where’s the best man?” “Oh he’s bookin’ in the jacks, poor lad’s bloody scuttered.”)
- “A Whale of a Time” = the only time you can have in Ireland—a good one
- “A Hooley” = a shindig, a knees-up, a soiree, a few pints, a party, Juju and Ryan’s wedding
- “Savage” = can be good or bad, similar to the American usage of ‘gnarly’ ‘bad’ ‘righteous’ ‘vicious’ (“Juju and Ryan’s wedding was one savage hooley!”)
- “Shite” = shit (“Watch out for sheep shite!)
- “Eejit” (Idiot, with a brogue) = complete fool (“I feel like an eejit for RSVPing no to Juju and Ryan’s wedding.”)
- “Deadly” = fantastic, wonderful (Anything awesome in Ireland means more alcohol, which also means a higher chance of dying, therefore the more wonderful something is the more deadly it becomes — watch yoself.)
- “Pissing” = raining
- “Bucketing down” = raining a sh*t ton
- “Grand” = alrighty, ok, sounds good
- “Aye” = Yes
- “Feck’s Sake” = OMG
- “Black Stuff” = Guinness
- “Bangers” = sausage
- “Banjaxed” = hopelessly broken (“Our rental car is bloodly banjaxed thanks to them narrow Irish roads!!”)
- “Shift” = kiss (“Ryan and Juliana were caught shiftin’ before the wedding!”)
- “Meet” = kiss (This does not give you permission to make-out with someone when they say, “Nice to meet you.”)
- “Score” = kiss (Turns out, the Irish really do like to kiss—and then leave it at that.)
- “Wee” = An adjective that describes pretty much anything, regardless of size, but nevertheless makes all things sound small and cute (“Would you like to have a wee swim in that gigantic lake over there?” “We had a wee argument that ended in pie-throwing and handcuffs.”)
- “Wee Dumpy Article” = strugs person, homely, the “before” in “before and after” (“It seems Juliana and Ryan don’t know a single dumpy article! What a gorgeous wedding party!”)
- “Wee Fizzy Mineral” = club soda
- “Like” = used at the end of almost every sentence as a space filler and is, remarkably, not at all annoying as compared to the American compulsive use of ‘like’. (“I’m grand, like.” NOT “I’m like, grand.”)
- “Red Sauce” = Ketchup
- “You’re Arse is a Daisy” = you’re straight up LYING yo’
- “A Couple Sandwiches Short of a Picnic” = When the Irish call you dumb, they tell you a story about a picnic and not having enough sandwiches.
- “Trainers” = sneakers
- “What’s the Craic?” = ‘Sup?
- “Get Outta Dat Garden” = to express surprise or disbelief (akin to the Jersey-American, “NO WAY—GEDOOUUUDAH HEEEEUH!)
